Redirecting

 Weeks had passed by. The speakers were amazing, and my faith in what was next for my family grew. Yet my heart sank when the outreach locations were revealed on the whiteboard. What was stirring in both Bruce's and my heart was Uganda (Bruce had even gotten Uganda before we knew it was an option). And yet my flesh was wracked with fear. 

Only days before we had left for Kona we had found out our daughter had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA). Her knee had swollen up, and she was starting to favor her left knee. I couldn’t believe it. She had just gone through brain surgery, and now she had arthritis. How could this be? 

So now, how could the Lord ask us to go to a country with limited medical options? That was crazy. Over the next several days, I struggled with the Lord. So much so that the day before we had to make our final decision, I told everyone who was sitting at our dinner table there was no way I would go to Uganda unless God verbally spoke to me. 

Confidently, I took our two-year-old son towards our tiny room. On our way, we walked by the basketball court, and we decided to stop by to watch my nephew play for a few minutes. As we stood and watched, a man I’d never seen before approached us. He described seeing a scripture verse floating above my son’s head. I looked at him, cockeyed, smiled, thanked him, and we walked back to our room. 

Once our children were in bed, my husband and I began discussing where we should go for outreach. We needed an answer that next morning. Bruce was still firm that we were going to Uganda. However, he was also ok if we chose another option if I believed the Lord was directing us elsewhere. He then encouraged me to have some quiet time with the Lord. 

I left our small room and headed to our outdoor classroom. As I cried out to the Lord, I couldn’t help but get a strong sense the Lord wanted me to put our daughter on the altar. She had become an idol in my heart as we had been struggling with her severe health issues.

I was no longer trusting that the Lord would take care of her. I was her parent. I needed to do what was right for her. We had already stepped out in faith and left Washington State without full support or knowing what was next. But were we really to go to Africa for 9 weeks when our daughter had just had brain surgery only a few months prior, and she currently had JRA? 

As I whined and complained to the Lord, I was reminded of the scripture the man had given me earlier. I opened my Bible and read it (I don’t remember the verse he gave me now that it’s been almost ten years, but I remember the moment). As I read, tears streamed down my face as it became increasingly evident that I needed to trust the Lord, not partially but wholly. I needed to lay down my fears concerning my daughter completely. 

Making that commitment to go to Africa about ten years ago was just one of the times the Lord asked us to surrender and trust Him. It can be easy to look at outward circumstances with fear and trembling and stop there. Yet what will we miss out on because we stopped before seeing God's faithfulness?

As I recall these moments, my heart still pumps a little faster, and I experience the moment all over again. Even though it’s been several years, I can still feel the tension and the struggle. I can still recall with such clarity how the Lord spoke to my heart, and I am thankful that He gave me the strength to trust Him and go on outreach to Uganda. 

As we wait in anticipation of this next season of heading into the unknown, I can’t help but wonder what lies ahead. What crossroads will we face? What will be thrown at us, and how will I respond? My prayer is that I will continue to be bold and courageous in my weaknesses, that I will trust no matter what the Lord asks, that I will allow myself to be redirected from my own wisdom, and that I will allow myself to be led one day at a time. 

Where do you find yourself? Are you in a position where you are comfortable, and if the Lord were to ask you to step out, you’d say “No” because of the fear of the unknown? Or perhaps you’ve played out all the possible outcomes and have decided to say no because it would be unwise and irresponsible. Whatever your reasoning, please reconsider your position until you hear the Lord’s heart on the situation. Don’t assume you know what is best. Instead, trust and obey even when it doesn’t make sense. Trust and Obey, for there is no other way. 

Prayer Requests

• Monthly and one-time partners (click here to partner).

• Health and safety over our family.

• Favor as we prepare to go into the Outback.

• Deep connections with the Aboriginals.