Treatment in Jacksonville
The days slowly crawled by. The unknowing felt like an unwanted heavy blanket. Some days, it was easy to drop the blanket of stress in a corner and embrace the peace of the Lord. Yet, at any moment, if I did too much research, I’d regretfully pick the weight of it all back up, and just like that, my peace would give way to stress. This process took place intermittently for the entire six weeks post-surgery. Peace, stress, peace, stress, on and on it went. You’d think I’d learn to stop researching and remember it’s so much better to rest in the Father’s arms; however, I am sad to say I am a weak human, and I long for answers, especially when it concerns my daughter.
Six weeks after surgery, we finally had the follow-up appointment with the neurosurgeon. And yet, he had no answers for the next steps. This meant we were back to waiting to hear from oncology. Each day seemed like an eternity. Finally, the day arrived to go to the oncologist. Even though we were walking in peace that day, we did wonder what news he would hold, while at the same time knowing our Maker is the one who has Esperanza’s future dearly in his hands.
After all the basic check-ups, “follow my finger, squeeze my hand, etc”, he turned his attention to us. He began to describe the process he had gone through after receiving the biopsy results. He had consulted with multiple other specialists, and they all agreed on three potential options, which I, of course, had already stressed over in my research. What I didn’t anticipate was the length of time he would describe. The first option he presented was chemotherapy, which would take about a year. Wow, a year? The drugs could destroy the rest of her body, and losing her hair was a very real thing that Esperanza did NOT want. Then he described targeted therapy, which would also take a year. And this drug hasn’t been around very long, so they don’t really know the long-term side effects, and it doesn’t always work, so we potentially would go back to chemo.
Therefore, the team of specialists unanimously felt that the third option was the best—six weeks of proton therapy. The short nature of this therapy was appealing, but what would the side effects be to her brain? No one knows precisely. It could be nothing, or it could be something significant.
Having done all my research, I was not interested in any of the suggested treatment plans. They all have potentially significant side effects. Yet Esperanza has double vision that the eye doctor cannot fix without the tumor going away. Waiting is no longer an option. We are out of time. And decisive action is a must. Over the next several days, as we prayed and talked, we all started to feel peace to have Esperanza undergo proton therapy. We were also blessed to connect with a doctor who recommended a handful of natural medicines to help her body heal through this process.
So what does this mean exactly?
All the details have not been fleshed out yet, but we do know that next week our family will head to Jacksonville, Florida, which is 5.5 hours from our home. In Jacksonville, we will meet with multiple pediatric radiation specialists who will walk us through what proton therapy entails. Esperanza will have another MRI, and they will put together a brain map to figure out how best to attack this tumor. After these appointments, we will know the exact timeline for the six-week proton therapy, which could potentially start the following week.
Before heading back to Pensacola, we were blessed with a fully paid, three-day family trip to Orlando (which is only 2 hours from the Jacksonville hospital). This will be such a blessing since during the six weeks of treatment, our family will be separated. Our youngest three children will stay in Pensacola with my mom while we are in Jacksonville. If finances allow, Bruce and I plan to take turns flying home on weekends so we are not separated from our other children for too long.
We do not look forward to this next season, yet our heart's cry is to drop the heavy blanket and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us with His joy and peace. There is a reason He’s allowing us to go through this suffering, and we long to walk this season out in a way that will bring Him glory in the process. For the Word of God says in I Corinthians 1:4, “He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Therefore, we trust that the Lord will continue to bring us comfort so that we can comfort those whom He puts in our path.
We do, however, know we cannot do this journey alone. Therefore, we invite you to partner with us in this season. The following are ways you can help:
Pray regularly for complete healing over Esperanza.
Only the tumor is destroyed by the proton therapy; no other part of her brain has ill effects from the treatment.
Funding to cover our travel, food, natural medicines, etc
Gryphin, Amara & Zoe feel loved and at peace in this season.
Stamina for my 79-year-old mom, who will be raising our children for six weeks.
Peace and joy for Esperanza as she walks through treatment.
Thank you for joining us in this process! God has always been faithful!
